Now we all get excited when we get called up for job interviews. We start prepping for the D-Day. We ask ourselves so many questions: Are you really qualified for the position you are interviewing for? Do you know enough about the company you are applying to?
Can you establish rapport with those you'll be meeting with when you make your first impression? Going for interviews can be a giant-stress. Some even visit the rest room several times because of tension while waiting for your turn. Mehn... i've been to tons of interviews in Lagos and Port Harcourt and i beat myself up for months with "am i not good enough?."E nor easy!!!
One tin way everybody need to know be say, for you to pass an interview depend on the kain interviewer way you jam. It isn't about how smart you present yourself. Well e de favour some pipu not me sha (not trying to be pessimistic). I remember going for my first interview in Royal Exchange Plc an Insurance Company at Ikeja, Nigeria. Omo after much trouble trying to find my way around the city (you know say i be JJC then), even got drenched by rain. Anyway to cut the story short, e reach my turn for the interview.... i was expecting the usual "tell me about yourself... what motivates you.....what's your contribution to the organisation"blah blah blah i got none of that. The man was asking me about my family. Mehn i swear it was odd discussing my family with a stranger. I started with explaining my family name and of course i didn't want any loose end (i nor wan talk one tin today then change story tomorrow) so i told him i'm from a polygamous home with 12 children(Yes o! i love Torere football team). He asked further where are my parents? math scratch me say "dad is in Warri mum's dead""What killed her" He pressed on. Omo you need to see the way i con de shift yansh lift and right for where i si-dan. This isn't what i bargained for o i kept repeating in my mind. I didn't want him to see how uncomfortable he made me feel so i forced in a smile and kept answering him. Next he asked where is your boyfriend? ....No the man didn't ask for my number nor did he call me after the interview if you're thinking he was trying to hit on me. It was nothing like that. But the questions nor jus jell at all at all. Anyway, i got called back but a friend had already de-briefed me that he was called and the job was based on commission. I didn't take the offer because i nor fit trek the street of Lagos with my 3 pair of shoes.
Companies do not put much effort in recruiting the right set of candidate for the job. Yes! You can't judge ones capability from 5-minutes interaction. Some don't even exceed 5. Na dummies full HR department ASWEAR!! A staff of Access Bank conducted an interview and the usual question "Tell me about yourself" was thrown. One thing we should all remember is that we should try as much as we can not to repeat what is on our CV because they already know since the information is in their hand. Anyway, i tried to be very brief. Started with my Name, Qualifications, Work experiences- and the usual lie lie talk followed (not like i can't do it but na story jooor) i am proactive, a team worker ....(you all know the rest). You know wetin the man talk? E said i didn't even tell him about my child hood experiences and my family. For a minute i thought he was joking because i was bewildered. I jus open math for grand de reason weda the man serious. For real he wasn't joking. He kept fumbling with my CV pretending he was reading much from it and asked me to answer. And quickly said i wasn't meant for the job.
How Lamic Nigeria Limited asked me to "stand up turn around"i applied for Customer Relation Officer and that stand up turn around made me feel they were going to give me uniform which wasn't the case. The man was probably filling his eyes. The next question threw me off balance "when last did you have sex"
Well let me not try to discourage some of you out there still trying to get a white collar job. Some of my friends have a well paid job with no support from anybody. So there is still hope. Others are hustling without their school certificates. We've all grown to realise that it isn't work hard but work smart.
Nonetheless let's try to involve God in everything we do.
Feel free to share the most awkward job interviews you've encountered.
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